Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Healthy and Happy... can't ask for more.

Every so often I have to remind myself that being healthy in company of my family is the most important thing I can ever ask. That and of course a job to feed my family. Christmas is here and while some of us are caught up in the present shopping frenzy we must not forget why we celebrate this day. The birth of baby Jesus. It's definately the most amazin' of all holidays.

My boss sent an email out today wishing us a happy holiday. In it, he points out to keep "things in prespective." That nothing is as big as it seems. Simply give 100% and things work out at the end. I liked that message. I try to remind myself of that everyday. It makes life a lot easier and enjoyable.

Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Good things come to those who choke..

That's right, dammit. We have a genius for a GM in Omar Minaya. He has gotten us K-Rod and Now JJ Putz.. what? Are you freaking kiddin' me? This is fucking awesome. I was actually flopping my arms of sheer happines in the car this morning when I heard the news.

Good riddance Heilman... sad to see Joe Smith and Endy go ..wait.. the sadness is over. ***heavenly music playing in background*** Rejoice fellow Met fans, rejoice. And now? Oh yeah Mr. World Champion Hamels says Mets are chokers. My response? We'll see in '09 Mr. Hamels.

I love you Oma' are the fucking bomb!!!!!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

A letter to Satan Claus

Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,

This year, I have been a very Ritalin-addled met fan. I have not embezzeled, and I have always helped my coworker’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of ass kicking free agents this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For Omar Minaya, please bring Valium. For Jerry Manuel, please bring a new bullpen. For my big brother, please bring methodone. For my doggy, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my mailman, please bring some fruit cake.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith videos, and front row tickets to Britney Spears – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne Chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pony. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really DONT want is Luis Castillo at second base!

Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.



PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Luis Castillo and Aaron Heilman? They has been really naughty weeners all year long and dont deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog shit in their stocking. Thanks!